Randomness is what I do best...

Hmm...so the world didn't end on Saturday as predicted.  Not that I actually thought it would.  I think it's crazy that a "Christian" so blatently disputed the Bible.  He was so adament that we COULD know the day & time, when the Bible clearly states that NO ONE can know the day or the hour, not even the Son or the angels in heaven. 

Most people are starting their summers this week.  Kids are getting out of school and everyone's preparing for their summer vacations, etc.  But not for me.  I've been out of school since the first week in May, and I'm preparing to get back to school!  I start my last semester of NP school on June 1.  And I'm sure I will be completely swamped with school until I finish on August 5.  I'm excited, nervous, and even a little bit stressed at the idea of this last semester.  I'm also getting a little stressed about finding a job.  I just really hope I can find one before August! 

I'm ready for a little excitement in my life, but I don't think that's going to happen anytime soon.  Mainly because of the topic mentioned above.  School makes life incredibly boring!  Well, that and not having any money, which is caused by the whole school thing... I'm ready for a guy in my life. So lame, I know...still kind of disappointed that things seem as if they aren't going anywhere with the guy my preceptor tried to set me up with.  Still haven't heard anything from him.  I broke down and sent him a message on Facebook the other day, on the advice of a friend.  All it said was, "Hey. How are you?" because I had no idea what to say...Lame, I know!  But he never replied so I can only assume he isn't interested.  I've debated deleting him from my facebook because I don't really have a reason to have him on there if I'm never going to talk to him.  I'm not much for having random people on my friend's list.  I know no one probably reads this, so I just use it as more of an outlet to express my feelings because I find it hard to do otherwise.  I feel incredibly desperate for wanting him to call/text/message so bad because I don't even know him...all I know is the stuff he posts on facebook.  I feel like since I've added him & sent that one message that if I do anything else it'll come across as desperate.  Adding him & sending the message, should indicate that I'm interested, right.  So, I shouldn't do anything else.  Just kinda wondering when something will work out for me...

My crazy life

Well as of yesterday, I finished my 2nd semester of NP school.  Which means I am now 2/3 of the way finished.  Actually closer than that...our last semester is only 8 weeks & begins on June 1.  I will finish on August 5th!  I am getting soo excited, but extremely nervous at the same time about finding a job & keeping my sanity through the summer.  School has been keeping me really busy & REALLY stressed!!  Hopefully this summer won't be quite so bad. 

But on to more important things...
Like 2 weeks ago, my preceptor from last semester called me and asked me if I remembered this patient that I saw at her clinic one time.   It was a guy around my age who they just thought would be perfect for me...so I remembered him.  Well, he was at the clinic & they were talking and he was asking if I was still there & stuff and they told him that they thought we'd make a good couple & he said he thought I was cute. Basically, my preceptor called to ask if she could give him my number & to give me his number & to tell me that he said he had a facebook and I could contact him there if I wanted to.  Well I told her she could give him my number.  So she did.  Well...he never called.  She even texted me like a week later & asked about it.  So, after talking to my best friend I decided to add him on facebook, so I did & he accepted  my request, but he still hasn't called.  I am determined that I am NOT going to call him first...but I really want him to call me.  It's not like I have a huge crush on him or anything, but it'd just be nice to see what happened, ya know? 

Well that's basically the interesting stuff going on in my life at the moment...any input?

Wanna know more about me??

What is your name?   Courtney

What is your zodiac sign?   Libra

What kind of music do you enjoy listening to?   Christian, 80's, 90's, Country..I know a random variety

Do you like sports (watch or play)? yep.  Baseball, football, soccer, hockey!

What is your relationship status?  single

Do you have any children? nope, unless you count my 2 nephews & niece that I love with all my hear
What are 2 of your favorite foods?  pizza, mexican

Do you have any pets? yep, one dog, a 6 year old Chi-a-Dach named Rebel
Any tattoos or piercings? just my ears...I've considered a tattoo, but I can't make up my mind.

Do you have siblings?  2 older sisters

How is your relationship with your parents? great!

What is your occupation? RN...grad student, will be Family Nurse Practitioner in about 4 months!!!

What is your ideal job? Pediatric Nurse Practitioner

What was your best subject in school? In high school, I didn't have a bad subject...my favorite was Math though. 
Your worst subject in school? didn't like History so much

What is something you like to do in your downtime? read

What is your favorite season? Spring...even though Mississippi doesn't really have a spring

What is your least favorite house chore? bathroom

What time do you usually go to bed? 10:00-10:30

Do you wear glasses or contacts? contacts most of the time, but I do have glasses that I wear when necessary
Do you miss anyone at the moment? yeah, missing both sets of grandparents & my best friend, Kayla.  They've all been with Jesus for a while now, but I still miss them
Last time you took a bubble bath? years & years ago...not a bubble bath person. 

What is one thing you want to accomplish this year? graduate NP school & get a good job

What is your favorite holiday? Christmas, I love everything about the season

Do you have any allergies? just seasonal stuff
Do you enjoy thunderstorms? NOT at all

Have you/do you plan to vote this year? yeah, I always vote

What cell phone provider do you use? AT&T

Do you speak any languages besides English? no, I want to learn Spanish though

What is a smell that you love? fresh cut grass

What is the last vacation you went on? to Destin, FL in Sept. 2009

Have you ever been horseback riding? yeah, when I was younger

Have you ever gambled at a casino? yeah, like once...not my thing

What is the last thing you ate and drank? Water, cheesecake

What time do you wake up in the morning? typically 6:30, but it depends on what I'm doing that day

Do you have any quotes that you really like?yeah.  "Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game."  that's probably my most favorite
What is the last song you listened to? listening to "The Motions" by Matthew West at the moment

What radio stations do you listen to? KLOVE, JackFM (oldies station)

Do you sleep with your closet Door open or closed, or does it matter? closed

Do you prefer to sleep with any light in the room, or in total darkness? light from my TV or total darkness...either way

If you are having a hard time getting to sleep, What is something you do to help you fall asleep?  making the room quiet...that's about it.

What is the weather like right now where you are? pleasant, a little warm, but hey it's MS

Do you close the door when you use the bathroom or shower when you're home alone? not always

Next vacation you plan to go on? cruise in August after I finish school
Do you have any nicknames?  Court, Grace, Court-Court

Are you watching tv right now? nope

When is the last time you cried? teared up earlier thinking about all the people I miss. but really cried...a couple of weeks ago when I watched Army Wives

Have you ever been in love? only with Jesus

Have you gotten so drunk that you Dont remember what happened the next day? nope, never been drunk at all

Do you always wear your seatbelt?  yes

What do you like to order at Ihop?  cheesecake pancakes

What was your last injury and how did it happen?  I skinned my toes when I was swinging with my youngest nephew &; was trying to stop

If you could have one superhero ability, What would it be? flying...I hate driving!

What is the last movie you saw in the theater? Red Riding Hood

What are 2 fruits that you really like? watermelon & grapes

What is the first tv show theme song that you can think of? Fresh Prince of Bel-Air...weird I know.

How do you feel about your family? love them, even though they get on my nerves, I'll always have their back

What is your favorite salad dressing? Ranch or Honey Mustard
Do you call anyone by their last name? Yeah a couple of guys that I know

Have you ever walked into the bathroom for the opposite sex by accident (or on purpose)? no

Do you smoke, drink or use any kind of drugs? nope

Have you ever had your heart broken? nope

If you could go back in time and change anything from your past, would you do so? yes, I'd spend more time with my grandparents & Kayla, and not take the time I had with them for granted
Do you hate anyone? no

Are you angry with anyone at the moment? only the vice principal at  my nephew's school...

Is there something else you should be doing right now? yes, I should be in bed!

Who is the next person you are going to see? probably my sister because we live together

Who is the next person you are going to email?  either my advisor or my research partner

He loves me anyway

God seems to speak to me a lot through songs. Certain songs lift me up & leave me feeling refreshed in my walk with my Heavenly Father.  There's nothing better than jamming out to a song that sings about our awesome God.  One song that really spoke to me the other day is You Love me Anyway by Sidewalk Prophets. 

Here are the lyrics:

The question was raised

As my conscience fell
A silly, little lie
It didn’t mean much
But it lingers still
In the corners of my mind

Still you call me to walk
On the edge of this world
To spread my dreams and fly
But the future’s so far
My heart is so frail
I think I’d rather stay inside

But You love me anyway
It’s like nothing in life that I’ve ever known
You love me anyway
Oh Lord, how You love me
How You love me
It took more than my strength
To simply be still
To seek but never find
All the reasons we change
The reasons I doubt
And why do loved ones have to die?

But You love me anyway
It’s like nothing in life that I’ve ever known
You love me anyway
Oh Lord, how You love me

I am the thorn in Your crown
But You love me anyway
I am the sweat from Your brow
But You love me anyway
I am the nail in Your wrist
But You love me anyway
I am Judas’ kiss
But You love me anyway

See now, I am the man that called out from the crowd
For Your blood to be spilled on this earth shaking ground
Yes then, I turned away with this smile on my face
With this sin in my heart tried to bury Your grace
And then alone in the night, I still called out for You
So ashamed of my life, my life, my life


I found myself listening to this song, driving down the road with tears streaming down my face.  It hit me hard as I realized that each piece of torture Jesus bore was because of me...for ME he took the crown of thorns on his brow, for ME he took the nails in each wrist.  He bore it ALL for a sinner, who would betray him like Judas, who would mock him & call for him to die like the Jews.  He loved me even when I didn't love him.  Before I was born He LOVED ME!  He bore it all so I could spend eternity with him.  He loves me that much! 

Don't get me wrong, all this is stuff that I already knew but it's almost like it's something I forgot.  As Christians I think sometimes we don't see the depth of His love in the cross.  Like we KNOW that he died for our sins so we can have eternal life in our brains, but we picture his death on the cross like it  is so often depicted in pictures like this:

Completely intact & peaceful.  When it's so not how it was.  He SUFFERED!  He was beaten...his blood was literally spilled everywhere for us.  He was in anguish because the sins of everyone was on his shoulders.  More like this:


My God loved me First!  I didn't have to be good enough or try hard enough for him to love me...he loved me ANYWAY! 

God is good all the time; All the Time God is good

I have decided that I am the worst blogger ever!  I have no idea what I'm doing & half the time I forget to update it. But here I am struggling along.  Any advice fellow bloggers?

Tuesday, I signed up for my last semester of grad school!!  It seems surreal to me that I am already almost done with my second semester & will soon be starting my third & final semester!  And in a little over 4 months I will be done with grad school.  I had my plans for school...and it seems surreal that they fell into place exactly like I had planned...that's how I know that God is in control!  It's easy to let him have control of my school life.  After I first started my undergrad, I was struggling and not making time for Him in my life...it was tougher than ever.  Then, He spoke to me & told me to put Him first in all I did and trust Him & not try to do it all myself and everything else would be okay. And in school it's been easy to do that, to completely trusting in Him pulling me through each test, check-off, & assignment. 

But as far as relationships go, it's the hardest thing for me to let go & completely trust His will.  I say that I'm laying it down at His feet, but I pick it back up almost daily. I feel so alone sometimes.  I want that ONE to spend my life with, but I am afraid that I won't ever find him.  That's like saying that I don't trust God to lead me to him or him to me.  Like I don't trust His timing.  I know in my head that His timing is perfect & there's a reason he hasn't led me & my future-husband together yet & one day He will & I will completely understand why I had to wait.  But it's the time leading up to that point that is so hard for me.  I see people all around me getting married and going on to start families and I feel like I'm being left behind in a sense.  For example, my best friend has been married for 4 years and now she & her husband are expecting their first child in August.  I am SOO excited for them & so excited to be an "aunt", but it makes me long for that for myself.  In my personal little fantasy world, I always pictured myself married by now, but I'm no where close. I feel like God has told me that I'm supposed to finish school before I get married...but that hasn't stopped me from obsessing about it.  I just don't know what to do.  More of Him; Less of me...that's all I can do. 

Wow, I didn't know I had all that in me...sorry for going on & on like that.

On Mission for Christ

For God, who said, 'Let there be light in the darkness,' has made this light shine in our hearts so we could know the glory of God that is seen in the face of Jesus Christ.

2 Corinthians 4:6

This week, we have several teams from my church that are all over the world sharing the love of Christ! This weekend groups left for Vancouver, North Africa, Russia, Peru, & Nicaragua to bring light to the darkness of the world over Spring Break.  I am so blessed to be a part of a church that sends so many people out constantly to further God's Kingdom.  Be in prayer for these groups over the course of this week. 

With so many groups going this week, it's gotten me to thinking about mission work for myself...and I can't wait to go again, but I just feel as if it's on hold right now with school.  Not only do I not have the time to take off to go anywhere, I also do not have the money. So 2011 doesn't look like a good year for me to go on a mission trip anywhere.  Even though I finish school in August, I figure I will spend the rest of the year getting certified and starting & getting settled into my new job...wherever that will be!  I'm so excited about the opportunities that will come open once I graduate & where my new career will take me.  But right now, I must get busy on a case study. 

Love for hockey

This past weekend, I went to my first ever hockey game!  Not only have I never been to a game before, but I had never even watched a hockey game before Saturday night.  I immediately fell in love with the game.  It  was incredible!   I now feel a need to learn as much about the game as I can, and to get back to another game ASAP!  So, I guess I can officially say I am a Mississippi Surge fan!  That is our SPHL team located on the coast of Mississippi.  After the game, we got to meet some of the players and get autographs...they were all great. 

Me & my sister went down to the coast (which is like a 3 hour drive for us) to visit a friend of ours & go to a Mardi Gras parade.  I didn't know Mardi Gras was that big down there.  Even though it was rainy, the parade was still great.  The rain held off until the tail end of the parade and it didn't start raining hard until we made it to the car. After the parade, our friend suggested the hockey game, so we were like why not...who knew I'd find a love for the sport. 

This weekend was a much needed break for me...even though I had 2 tests on Monday. I was able to spend most of the time during the car ride down there and back to study.  I am so ready to get out of school, so my weekends can be my fun times again, with no worries. 

I promise I will try to update more often & not just disappear into thin air!  NP school has a way of taking over my life!

Only about 5 months left!!!