Same ole, Same ole

Well, the lack of updates pretty much means nothing has changed.  Not much anyway.  Still looking for a job.  I had a great possibility that I had gotten very excited about and it fell through.  The day after that happened, I got 2 interviews...both for jobs back towards where I'm from (which is an hour from where I live now).  Since I got those calls, I've come to believe that God is going to move me back that way.  Something I had adamently opposed earlier.  I'm okay with it now though.  The first interview went okay, I'm hoping to hear something soon about a second interview.  The second interview was pretty much a bust because they needed someone who could practice independently & I'm about 4 1/2 months away from being able to do that, BUT she did say she would have another opportunity that she might could work with me on that.  The one I'm waiting to hear about a second interview is by no means my dream job, but at this point I'm not looking for dream job...I'm looking for a JOB that gets me experience.  I know that God has a special place picked out for me & he will place me there when the time is right.  

But back to God preparing me to move back "home".  At first I was so opposed to moving back closer just because I love where I am now & didn't really see anything over there for me.  But I've been spending more & more time over there, staying with my parents & hanging out with my oldest nephew (mostly) & then this week while I was there I spent some time with my cousin, who is one of my closest friends, & with my best friend.  I realized that there's a lot more there for me than I realized.  Plus my nephew wants to set me up with his girlfriend's cousin...and I'm not completely opposed to that.  He's cute, funny...I wouldn't mind getting to know him.  So we'll see what happens.

01/01/2012

2011 just disappeared...it went by SO fast...I guess that's what happens when you spend most of the year with your nose stuck in nursing books.  Despite the stress & trials I wouldn't trade this past year for anything.  True, there are things that I wish had turned out differently, but ya know, all things happen for a reason.  I still haven't figured out those reasons, but maybe I'm not supposed to.  I'm looking forward to 2012...I figure it HAS to get better than the end of 2011 was.

I've really been struggling with a lot of stuff lately, not being able to find a job,  being single (eternally, it seems), and due to both of the previous dealing with loneliness & almost seemingly depression.  It's not like I think I'm clinically depressed or anything, but I just feel down & isolated lately.  I'm pretty introverted so I don't make friends easily.  It's not that I'm stuck up or I don't want new friends, I just don't know how to get to know people...when I'm around people I don't know, I don't feel like I have anything to say so I just stay quiet which doesn't lead to making friends...  I mean, this is part of the reason why I'm single too...and whenever anyone tries to set me up, I adamantly protest...I don't know why, I mean I should be open to meeting anyone, so what if it doesn't work out? Like just recently, my nephew (who is 14, almost 15) wanted to set me up with his girlfriend's cousin.  And I was just like NO, I mean I don't even know her cousin, so what was the harm?  I have it in my mind that no one would be interested, so why try...I know, with that mindset, of course it won't happen.

Typically I don't make New Year's Resolutions...I've never really seen the point of setting all these goals just because it's a different year.  But this year, I think I may set some goals for myself, not just because it's a new year, but because it's time for a change in my life.  I can't be happy the way I am now, and it seems like I'm making those around me miserable too.

1. Pray more often.  Prayer is a powerful thing & I take it for granted.  God wants me to open my heart & soul to him completely, but when I hold on to the things that I'm worrying about, I'm not completely letting him in.
2. Read my Bible everyday, even if it's just one or two verses.  I'm going to try to do the One Year Bible with my church.  
3. Be more open to meeting new people, put myself out there & be uncomfortable for a moment for the possibility of making friends.  
4. Say 'Yes' whenever anyone wants to set me up (if that occasion presents itself this year).
5. Exercise.  I'd love to make one of my goals "lose weight", but that goal is one of the main ones that fails for everyone.  Exercise not only helps with physical health, but it also helps with mental health.