I.Give.Up.

Yep, I'm having one of THOSE moments.  I give up on ever finding a guy.  It's just not gonna happen...got my hopes all up about this guy from the clinic & it's so obvious that he's not interested & I just look pathetic.  So I give up, but for some reason I can't make myself delete him from facebook.  I really should though.

I know all the things I should say/think...I am so blessed with the life I have (no doubt, I am, way more blessed than I deserve); the right guy will come along (IF he's out there, he got lost & won't ask for directions); I'm still young (true, but it's hard to feel that I'm too young to be married when most of my friends are married & have babies)

And most of the time I'm pretty good about keeping the upbeat attitude, but then there are times when I feel it's absolutely pointless to be positive about it.

I'm also starting to get anxious about a job...still no interviews...and I talked to this recruiting company and the lady seems to think that my chances of finding my dream job without relocating, which really bums me out because I love where I'm at right now...

Kinda strange...

Sometimes when I have elderly patients in clinical it makes me miss my grandparents. They have all went to be with Jesus.   I had one of those moments today, especially missing my Mamaw Kelly (my mom's mom).  Maybe it's because her birthday would have been Monday or that next Wednesday it will have been 7 years since she left this world.  She babysat me from the time I was like 6 weeks old until I was about 9 when she had a stroke.  After the stroke, she wasn't the same Mamaw I had known, and had to be put in a nursing home for most of the rest of her time on this earth.  But when she died when I was 18, it still broke my heart into a thousand pieces.  I miss her everyday, and from time to time thoughts of her still make me cry.  I think of how she's in heaven now with no more pain, and her brain is fully restored, and she's walking, no running, around the streets of gold and it makes me smile, and long for the days when I'll see her again.  I was blessed with the greatest grandparents a girl could ask for, I just wish they hadn't been taken from me so early in my life.  But I have hope because I will see them again one day without the limitations of this world.

It's been a while...

In about 4 weeks I'll have my MSN and be ready to take certification exam for FNP.  I'm so excited & so nervous at the same time!!  This year has flown by...it seems like just yesterday I was starting my first semester!  There's still a lot to do before I'm completely at ease...like pass certifications & find a job!  Next week is our last week of class...just a few more papers to turn in & present our research.  I'm nervous about not finding a job...there doesn't seem to be many NP openings around here, but who knows maybe I'm just not looking in the right places.  I'm just praying the right job for me presents itself soon!!

I'm gonna be an aunt again very soon!  Well not biologically an aunt, but that doesn't really matter.  My best friend is expecting her baby any day now.  She's not due until August 7, but her doc doesn't expect her to go longer than August 1.  We'll find out then if I have a new nephew or niece...they chose to be surprised about the gender.  I'm SO SO SO excited!