2011 just disappeared...it went by SO fast...I guess that's what happens when you spend most of the year with your nose stuck in nursing books. Despite the stress & trials I wouldn't trade this past year for anything. True, there are things that I wish had turned out differently, but ya know, all things happen for a reason. I still haven't figured out those reasons, but maybe I'm not supposed to. I'm looking forward to 2012...I figure it HAS to get better than the end of 2011 was.
I've really been struggling with a lot of stuff lately, not being able to find a job, being single (eternally, it seems), and due to both of the previous dealing with loneliness & almost seemingly depression. It's not like I think I'm clinically depressed or anything, but I just feel down & isolated lately. I'm pretty introverted so I don't make friends easily. It's not that I'm stuck up or I don't want new friends, I just don't know how to get to know people...when I'm around people I don't know, I don't feel like I have anything to say so I just stay quiet which doesn't lead to making friends... I mean, this is part of the reason why I'm single too...and whenever anyone tries to set me up, I adamantly protest...I don't know why, I mean I should be open to meeting anyone, so what if it doesn't work out? Like just recently, my nephew (who is 14, almost 15) wanted to set me up with his girlfriend's cousin. And I was just like NO, I mean I don't even know her cousin, so what was the harm? I have it in my mind that no one would be interested, so why try...I know, with that mindset, of course it won't happen.
Typically I don't make New Year's Resolutions...I've never really seen the point of setting all these goals just because it's a different year. But this year, I think I may set some goals for myself, not just because it's a new year, but because it's time for a change in my life. I can't be happy the way I am now, and it seems like I'm making those around me miserable too.
- Pray more often. Prayer is a powerful thing & I take it for granted. God wants me to open my heart & soul to him completely, but when I hold on to the things that I'm worrying about, I'm not completely letting him in.
- Read my Bible everyday, even if it's just one or two verses. I'm going to try to do the One Year Bible with my church.
- Be more open to meeting new people, put myself out there & be uncomfortable for a moment for the possibility of making friends.
- Say 'Yes' whenever anyone wants to set me up (if that occasion presents itself this year).
- Exercise. I'd love to make one of my goals "lose weight", but that goal is one of the main ones that fails for everyone. Exercise not only helps with physical health, but it also helps with mental health.
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