God is good all the time; All the Time God is good

I have decided that I am the worst blogger ever!  I have no idea what I'm doing & half the time I forget to update it. But here I am struggling along.  Any advice fellow bloggers?

Tuesday, I signed up for my last semester of grad school!!  It seems surreal to me that I am already almost done with my second semester & will soon be starting my third & final semester!  And in a little over 4 months I will be done with grad school.  I had my plans for school...and it seems surreal that they fell into place exactly like I had planned...that's how I know that God is in control!  It's easy to let him have control of my school life.  After I first started my undergrad, I was struggling and not making time for Him in my life...it was tougher than ever.  Then, He spoke to me & told me to put Him first in all I did and trust Him & not try to do it all myself and everything else would be okay. And in school it's been easy to do that, to completely trusting in Him pulling me through each test, check-off, & assignment. 

But as far as relationships go, it's the hardest thing for me to let go & completely trust His will.  I say that I'm laying it down at His feet, but I pick it back up almost daily. I feel so alone sometimes.  I want that ONE to spend my life with, but I am afraid that I won't ever find him.  That's like saying that I don't trust God to lead me to him or him to me.  Like I don't trust His timing.  I know in my head that His timing is perfect & there's a reason he hasn't led me & my future-husband together yet & one day He will & I will completely understand why I had to wait.  But it's the time leading up to that point that is so hard for me.  I see people all around me getting married and going on to start families and I feel like I'm being left behind in a sense.  For example, my best friend has been married for 4 years and now she & her husband are expecting their first child in August.  I am SOO excited for them & so excited to be an "aunt", but it makes me long for that for myself.  In my personal little fantasy world, I always pictured myself married by now, but I'm no where close. I feel like God has told me that I'm supposed to finish school before I get married...but that hasn't stopped me from obsessing about it.  I just don't know what to do.  More of Him; Less of me...that's all I can do. 

Wow, I didn't know I had all that in me...sorry for going on & on like that.