More Like Falling in love

This song is More Like Falling in Love by Jason Gray. It touched me so much when I really listened to the words the other day.

Religion is full of rituals, do's and don'ts and a list of things that you should or shouldn't believe is true. No passion or anything behind it. Religion is not what God wants from us. He wants us to fall in love with him. To be passionate about His name. This song is just amazing how it captures how as humans we can't live up to what God calls us to be on our own. Give us rules and things to do and we will always fail at some point. But through falling in love with our God, we have strength to do anything. It's not just a list of things to do or a set of do's & don'ts to follow, we do things He has called us to do out of our love and His love pours out of us onto others.

For the most part, the world sees believers as boring and restricted in their life. But in all honesty, we live a life of freedom, unrestricted, all out in love with the creator of the universe!

Winter Storm

Last week, in Mississippi, we rang in 2011 with tornados, this week we are all shut inside again, this time with sleet, snow, and ice, although I have yet to see any snow.  Icy roads in Mississippi means everything shuts down.  Which means the beginning of my second semester of grad school will have to wait...which is perfectly fine by me.  I'm not really prepared to get back into school mode. 

Sometimes I think I'm absolutely insane for going back to school, but then I think about getting out and doing something I absolutely love and it makes it all worth it.    Just remind me of this simple statement when I'm completely stressed out and going out of my mind in a few weeks. 

Tips??

I really want to start blogging more, but I'm not really good at it. I'm not sure what to write about and stuff. HELP!

I need tips and ideas please!

Lot of happenings.

On Monday, I finished my 1st semester of NP school! I am soo relieved to have that over with. I am 1/3 of the way closer to my degree. Now, I'm trying to enjoy my time off. But I'm staying pretty busy, but at least it isn't writing a paper or studying.

This morning I was woke up by a message from my best friend saying she had a positive home pregnancy test & she was going to the doctor at 8 to confirm it. At almost 9 am she sent me one saying she was definitely pregnant! I am so excited for her and her husband.

But on the other hand, it kinda gets me down. I am still single & no prospects of a boyfriend, and I want to get married & start a family so bad! I guess in a way you could say I'm envious of her & her life, but I really don't. I mean in so many ways I'm so extremely blessed. I have wonderful parents and great sisters, and the world's most awesome nephews & niece. But there's still something missing. I feel pathethic & desperate because I feel this way.

In my head I know that God has everything in control, but it's just hard because I can't see His plans, & I have no patience. I just don't know what to do.

I seem to have a problem "crushing" on every guy I meet just about...which is beyond pathetic. But I dunno...I obsess over things like that & I really wish I didn't.

While I was in clinical, a single guy came in & the girls that work at the clinic made the comment that we'd make a good couple and one of the girls was like I'll hook you up and stuff, well I finally told her she could play matchmaker. I went back the next week & she was like I never called him, but I will and got my number to give him. Well I am done with clinicals now and I still don't know if she ever tried to play matchmaker & instead of forgetting about it, I can't help but think about it...it's driving me crazy...I just wish I could forget that she ever said anything about playing matchmaker and then if he called it'd be a surprise & if he didn't it wouldn't bother me because I wouldn't even miss it. I mean, in this case, it wasn't like I like the guy, I don't really even know him...I mean he was cute enough, but really don't know him, it'd just be nice to get to know him...if that makes any sense. I know no one else will read this more than likely, but it's just nice to get it out there.

Back home!

After the most amazing week of my life, I made it back to Mississippi around 3pm on Saturday, Sept. 11. I can't even begin to explain how awesome Nicaragua was & the opportunities we had to serve & share Christ. I absolutley loved it & can't wait to go again. This was a medical, dental trip with the organization BMDMI, or Baptist Medical & Dental Missions International. They are truly a great organization. So I'll kinda tell you about my trip...

We left Mississippi around 12 on Saturday, flew to Houston, TX where we had about a 4 hour lay-over & then we boarded for Managua, Nicaragua. We got to the mission home in Managua around 9:30 their time (which they are an hour behind us) & we ate supper & went to bed. Sunday we got up early and headed out to the village of San Francisco. The drive took us about 5 1/2 hours, which included a couple of stops. Our transportation for the week was a school bus, which was very common in Nicaragua. Anyway, San Francisco is a small village up in the mountains of Nicaragua. The people are poor and have little or no access to healthcare. We set up in their school. The school was made up of 3 cinderblock buildings with barbed wire fence around it. Here at this village there was no running water, no indoor plumbing, no electricity. We had generators set up to give us electricity during the day. We had a men's sleeping quarters, women's sleeping quarters, Dental Clinic, OB-GYN clinic, and the medical clinic & pharmacy. We also had a veternarian team going out to treat animals. We spent the rest of the night Sunday setting up & preparing for Monday.

Each day we were at the village (Monday, Tuesday, & Wednesday) 4 worship services were held. 7am, 10am, 1pm, and 7pm. For the people to be able to come to the clinic they had to go through one of the first 3 worship services. Monday when the first patients came through, I was terrified, I had been thrown completely out of my comfort zone. But as the day progressed, I began to feel more comfortable in my skin. That day we saw a total of 660 patients & gave out 2,500 prescriptions. Tuesday, was much like day 1, except not quite as many patients. We only saw 521, and gave out 2,300 prescriptions. Day 3 was a doozy...we worked from 8 am until 7:30 that night. We saw 767 patients and gave out 3.900 prescriptions. Thursday, we packed up and headed back to the mission house. On the way back we stopped to eat lunch at Selva Negra, aka Black Forest. The food was awesome & the scenery was beautiful!!!

Friday was our shopping day. The market was very interesting...you could barter. I'm definitely not a barter-er so that didn't prove real fruitful for me. But it was definitely cool. After we got finished shopping we ate lunch at a restaurant called Pollos Narcy's....a chicken place. It was very good! Then we went for a boat ride on Lake Nicaragua...we went to Monkey Island & got to see some spider monkeys, they were precious! Then we went to the Emmanuel Children's Home. It's a home for girls who mostly were abused at home. A lot of these girls were 12-16 and most had babies due to sexual abuse. They are absolutely beautiful girls & that place is such an amazing safe haven for them. I fell in love with that place the second I saw it!!!

We went back to the mission house & ate our supper & watched the amazing video the missionaries had made for our team. Saturday was a super early morning & long day! We were up at 3 am and at the airport by 4:30, and in the air headed back to the states at 6:40. After safely arriving in Houston & eating lunch we were back in the air around 2 and landed in sweet home Mississippi at 3:15 pm. I was greeted at the airport by my sister, mom & dad, and neice & youngest nephew. It was great!!

Nicaragua Bound

Tomorrow is the big day! It kind of overwhelms me when I start thinking about all the firsts I will experience tomorrow. My first trip out of the country. My first mission trip. First experience in a place with no electricity, running water, or all the comforts I'm used to. I'm so pumped though all those nerves are kinda taking a back seat. I've been poring over my suitcase making sure that I've put EVERYTHING I could need in it without overpacking. If I forget something, I won't be able to just run to WalMart to get it.

Also, I have my first TWO tests of nurse practitioner school the Monday after I get back. That kind of make me a little nervous! I guess I will have plenty of time to study on the planes!

Anyway, appreciate all prayers y'all want to send up for us! I'm sure I will have a ton of updates with AWESOME stuff that God did while I was gone!

And reality hits

This morning I went to turn my badge in & get my severence package. I thought I had had my time to deal with it & that this morning wouldn't affect me. Boy was I wrong. I was ok as I walked into my manager's door, got a little teary when she hugged me. Then I was ok for a little bit. Then I nearly lost it as I walked to my unit, first when I saw the "Unit Closed: Do not enter" sign, and then when I saw just how abandoned the place looked already. It broke my heart. I made it to my car before the tears started flooding out. Losing your job is hard...never in my life did I think I'd experience it. A place I'd thought of as "home" with people I think of as "family". All suddenly gone. One thing I know is that even though we no longer have a home, we are still family...I love those girls & my heart breaks for them, but I know that God is their provider, just like he is mine & He is still there with them & they know that.

On a much happier note, I leave for Nicaragua in THREE days!!! I am so pumped & excited! I will be gone for 8 days sharing medical care & the Love of Christ! Its things like this that make me realize that I am still a nurse, even though I don't have a job anymore, that doesn't take away my identity as a nurse! God is with me & He knows what He is doing even when I don't!